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Pearl Jam — Daughter
Album: Vs.
Avg rating:
7.4

Your rating:
Total ratings: 2541









Released: 1993
Length: 3:44
Plays (last 30 days): 3
Alone, listless -- breakfast table in an otherwise empty room
Young girl, violins -- center of her own attention
The mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it, tries to make her proud
The shades go down, it's in her head, painted room... can't deny there's something wrong

Don't call me daughter, not fit to -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

She holds the hand that holds her down
She will rise above...

Don't call me daughter, not fit to -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to be -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to be -- the picture kept will remind me
Don't call me...

The shades go down
The shades go down
The shades go...
Go...
Go...
Comments (194)add comment
 LPCity wrote:

All these years later and I finally get it.

My youngest struggled with ADHD as a child and it was incredibly frustrating as a parent.  We learned from proper diagnosis and learned how to be encouraging to her.  She made lots of effort on her part too.  Twenty years later and this young lady  is one of the finest elementary school teachers  who really connects with children  who struggle to learn.  She grew from a child who struggled to read to an educator who instills the love of reading to children. 

Sorry, total parental pride on display.




Thank You for sharing your story!     
All these years later and I finally get it.

My youngest struggled with ADHD as a child and it was incredibly frustrating as a parent.  We learned from proper diagnosis and learned how to be encouraging to her.  She made lots of effort on her part too.  Twenty years later and this young lady  is one of the finest elementary school teachers  who really connects with children  who struggle to learn.  She grew from a child who struggled to read to an educator who instills the love of reading to children. 

Sorry, total parental pride on display.
Don't call me daughter, Gepetto
 
Ah, jamming to music in the days before we had lyrics on the Internet.
I love this tune!!  
 yougivememosi wrote:

Black 25 mins ago and now this... Guess it's a grunge mood in the RP office!



Just a glitch in the matrix...
 tapatia wrote:
mrrmt wrote: Vedder said it's about a learning-disabled girl who suffers abuse from her mother and/or parents because of their impatience over and lack of understanding about her condition. The physical abuse is implied by the use of the word "violins" - which is of course a homophone for "violence." When the shades go down the POV switches from the observer who sees the scene from the kitchen window to that of the girl inside her own home/mind. About what goes on behind closed doors that can be so different than what we see from the outside, etc. It's supposed to be semi-autobiographical, because as a boy learning-disabled Vedder experienced a similar situation with his own stepfather.


I've pushed the PSD button every time this song comes on without digging into its meaning. After reading your post I may listen to it all the way--it's been years since I did that. I may not like the actual music or singing more but it's important to give lyrics like this more attention. Thank you. 
 GawgaBoy wrote:

I'm not sure it rules, but I will certainly say I have more respect for it today than I did when my obstinate 14 (now 40) year old son wore a t-shirt with this album cover CONSTANTLY!


What would really be cool was if he still had that t-shirt today.
 cassanjp wrote:
Grunge rules😉
 
I'm not sure it rules, but I will certainly say I have more respect for it today than I did when my obstinate 14 (now 40) year old son wore a t-shirt with this album cover CONSTANTLY!
I remember this song coming out in the early 90s and loving the whole new sound of grunge. Great song on a great album.
Another great song about something so sad. PJ is the best! Always happy to hear PJ on RP.
Grunge rules😉
 kcar wrote:
Reminds me of a friend in college whose application to transfer to a better school had been accepted, provided that she kept her grades up. My friend's parents, knowing about this provisional acceptance, decided it would be a good idea to tell her right before finals that her biological father was a guy who had not stepped up when her mother had gotten pregnant with her. My friend had always suspected that the guy who'd married her mother wasn't her real dad, mostly by the way he favored her younger siblings (who were his biological kids, conceived after the marriage).

My friend's grades absolutely tanked as a result, and the better college withdrew its transfer acceptance. With family like that, who needs enemies? 

As for the biological dad: my friend confronted him (this all took place in a small town in PA) and he denied it all. Pretty much refused to talk about it, which tells you a lot. Also: this guy's brother married the sister of my friend's mom...and then abandoned her and her two kids to live in China.  
 
Trailer trash at its best. I don't think even Ancestry could crack this code.
Released 27 years ago!
 be4con wrote:

And 3 songs ago today, what gives Bill?
 
And again
 Proclivities wrote:
I like this tune, but that live version of "Black" was played about twenty minutes earlier again today.  Odd....
 
And 3 songs ago today, what gives Bill?
 yougivememosi wrote:
Black 25 mins ago and now this... Guess it's a grunge mood in the RP office!
 I like this tune, but that live version of "Black" was played about twenty minutes earlier again today.  Odd....
There's no such thing as too much Pearl Jam, so my ears tell me.  Sweet Monday in the Bristol office.  Thanks again, RP.
 yougivememosi wrote:
Black 25 mins ago and now this... Guess it's a grunge mood in the RP office!
 
At least it isn't live like Black with the crowd trying to sing


Black 25 mins ago and now this... Guess it's a grunge mood in the RP office!
{#Grumpy}
even PSD doesn't work on this one.
Blah! 
Back in the eighties when the local FM station played a Phil Collins song seemingly every other song, my roommate and I would call in and ironically ask for more Phil Collins.

Please.  More Pearl Jam.
Too much Pearl Jam... Time to hit the PSD button! 
 qosforever wrote:
Black and now Daughter....
It is today the Pearl Jam day in RP!!!??
I love it!!
Thanks

 
Today too ! 

Love it !
 whomhow wrote:
Any special event connected with Pearl Jam today? {#Ask}

 
Today again. Please no more. No more...
Any special event connected with Pearl Jam today? {#Ask}
Black and now Daughter....
It is today the Pearl Jam day in RP!!!??
I love it!!
Thanks
 sirdroseph wrote:
Funny after all these years just now noticing the irony of having a sheep on the cover.  You have just got to think that more than one person has brought it to his attention the similarity between his voice and sheep.  Wonder if they did that on purpose?{#Lol}

 
I think that's a goat on that cover, but that vocal comparison has also been made at some point I imagine.
*edit - from Wiki:
"The album's cover art, photographed by Ament, features a black-and-white picture of an angora goat from Lifeline Farm in Victor, Montana."
 LizK wrote:
And the cruelty of the person who dumped the story on him, ending with "so glad we talked."  A great song, like to sing it at volume driving on the freeway.

 
Reminds me of a friend in college whose application to transfer to a better school had been accepted, provided that she kept her grades up. My friend's parents, knowing about this provisional acceptance, decided it would be a good idea to tell her right before finals that her biological father was a guy who had not stepped up when her mother had gotten pregnant with her. My friend had always suspected that the guy who'd married her mother wasn't her real dad, mostly by the way he favored her younger siblings (who were his biological kids, conceived after the marriage).

My friend's grades absolutely tanked as a result, and the better college withdrew its transfer acceptance. With family like that, who needs enemies? 

As for the biological dad: my friend confronted him (this all took place in a small town in PA) and he denied it all. Pretty much refused to talk about it, which tells you a lot. Also: this guy's brother married the sister of my friend's mom...and then abandoned her and her two kids to live in China.  



With so many PJ live albums to choose from can someone tell me which is best ?
50 x better than Cake.
It's quarter past ten here on a beautiful, sunny morning. Slight chill in the air and a steaming mug of coffee on my desk.  Pearl Jam on the PC and life gets no better.  Thanks RP.  Long may you reign.
 Johnny_Wave wrote:
Thank goodness for the PSD function

 
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was some way to filter out all the H8 comments containing something about the PSD button.   So pointless.
 sirdroseph wrote:
Funny after all these years just now noticing the irony of having a sheep on the cover.  You have just got to think that more than one person has brought it to his attention the similarity between his voice and sheep.  Wonder if they did that on purpose?{#Lol}

 
Damn, now I have this picture in my head {#Wall}{#Beat}{#Drunk}{#Bounce}
Funny after all these years just now noticing the irony of having a sheep on the cover.  You have just got to think that more than one person has brought it to his attention the similarity between his voice and sheep.  Wonder if they did that on purpose?{#Lol}
Great song.  Great album.  Important stuff for me.
Hard to believe this song is more than 20 years old.  It seems like yesterday.
{#Yawn}
Boy, Eddie's voice can drone.
Thank goodness for the PSD function
I vote yes

Everybody in my church loves this magnificent song...
 
Yes
Everyone sings this really loud on their own don't they regardless of how bad you sing.  Well everyone who was a grunge loving 80's teen anyway?
Thank you for the good music that you select!
 orpheus wrote:
 cosmiclint wrote:

Perhaps. Alive most certainly was.

{#Whisper} actually Alive was about the fact ed thought his dad was someone who was really just his stepfather, his dad having died a while before {#Think}

  And the cruelty of the person who dumped the story on him, ending with "so glad we talked."  A great song, like to sing it at volume driving on the freeway.


poor romeo has been all alone too long.

this is of course for me a briliiant piece of work

and the many many live renditions I've been witness to have always been very special
The greatest acoustic song ever!
Brilliant song from the best live band in the world.
blech
This song does not enrage me.
Has anyone noticed the link between Daughter and Rear view mirror? The shades go down to suddenly the shades are raised? I see this as healing and putting the past behind you, beautiful stuff Eddy!
 lemmoth wrote:
Brilliant.  Just saw them twice in the last week.  Two nearly completely different sets.

Best live band on the planet.
 

Certainly one of the best live shows I've ever attended.  They can switch gears like pros... must be pros
Moves my everytime.

And that would be many - I have seen them live about two dozen times. 

This song is aiight. That is great praise from me considering it is non Ten Pearl Jam.{#Lol}


 hippiechick wrote:
Isn't this song about child sexual abuse?
 
Actually, Vedder has said that this song is about a learning-disabled girl who suffers physical abuse because of her parents' impatience with her disability. When the "shades go down," the story shifts from the perspective of the outside observer to that of the girl's own narrative, the darkness of her inability to learn, and also the darkness of what goes on behind closed doors in her own home. Apparently the song is somewhat autobiographical, because Vedder has dyslexia and suffered some abuse from his stepfather because of his own impatience with Vedder's disability. There's a reference to his explanation of the song lyrics in a quote in Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughter_(song)#Lyrics), but since the source is from a book I couldn't find it elsewhere online; I do recall reading this same explanation in an interview with Vedder, in which he also discusses his own childhood and how this song ties into it, but cannot recall that source:

"The child in that song obviously has a learning difficulty. And it's only in the last few years that they've actually been able to diagnose these learning disabilities that before were looked at as misbehavior, as just outright rebelliousness. But no one knew what it was. And these kids, because they seemed unable or reluctant to learn, they'd end up getting the shit beaten outta them. The song ends, you know, with this idea of the shades going down-so that the neighbors can't see what happens next. What hurts about shit like that is that it ends up defining peoples' lives. They have to live with that abuse for the rest of their lives. Good, creative people are just fucking destroyed."


Brilliant.  Just saw them twice in the last week.  Two nearly completely different sets.

Best live band on the planet.
 orpheus wrote:
 cosmiclint wrote:

Perhaps. Alive most certainly was.

{#Whisper} actually Alive was about the fact ed thought his dad was someone who was really just his stepfather, his dad having died a while before {#Think}

 
That's what the first verse was about. Eddie interpreted the lyrics in the second verse in this Rolling Stone interview with Cameron Crowe:

"The story of the song is that a mother is with a father and the father dies. It's an intense thing because the son looks just like the father. The son grows up to be the father, the person that she lost. His father's dead, and now this confusion, his mother, his love, how does he love her, how does she love him? In fact, the mother, even though she marries somebody else, there's no one she's ever loved more than the father ... Now the second verse is 'Oh she walks slowly into a young man's room... I can remember to this very day... the look... the look.' And I don't say anything else. And because I'm saying, 'The look, the look' everyone thinks it goes with 'on her face.' It's not on her face. The look is between her legs. Where do you go with that? That's where you came from."


Heavy stuff.

 cosmiclint wrote:

Perhaps. Alive most certainly was.

{#Whisper} actually Alive was about the fact ed thought his dad was someone who was really just his stepfather, his dad having died a while before {#Think}

 hippiechick wrote:
Isn't this song about child sexual abuse?
 
Perhaps. Alive most certainly was.

 On_The_Beach wrote:

Sorry if I hurt your tender feelings. Perhaps cuddling with your Eddie Vedder doll will bring you some comfort.

 


Great set Bill!


The words to this song always disturb me
One of their best...
ear massage.....ooohhh yeahhh
 Mandible wrote:

Did you say EDDIE VEDDER DOLL??? I WANT I WANT!!!!
 

{#Lol}
 On_The_Beach wrote:

Sorry if I hurt your tender feelings. Perhaps cuddling with your Eddie Vedder doll will bring you some comfort.

 
Did you say EDDIE VEDDER DOLL??? I WANT I WANT!!!!
A 9 for PJ, and a 10 for Bill's typically extraordinary segue from Cake You Turn the Screws to this.
 orpheus wrote:
boy you really told me! what a wit!{#Lol}
 
Thanks for being a good sport. Cheers! {#Cheers}
btw, I've heard a few more PJ songs that I've liked recently.

 On_The_Beach wrote:

Sorry if I hurt your tender feelings. Perhaps cuddling with your Eddie Vedder doll will bring you some comfort.

 

boy you really told me! what a wit!{#Lol}
The.  Worst.  Song.  Ever.  

I don't know why, but my general dislike of Vedder combined with this particular song... ech!  Sorry...  
 orpheus wrote:
dude you seriously ramble on so about do you like Eddie or do you not like Eddie? seriously we all DON"T CARE even a little bit. when you can sing and write even CLOSE to his level, come back and maybe (and that's still doubtful) maybe we'll give you more than the 2 seconds it took to write this{#Yawn}{#Yawn}{#Yawn}
 
Sorry if I hurt your tender feelings. Perhaps cuddling with your Eddie Vedder doll will bring you some comfort.

 On_The_Beach wrote:

I have to say I've never understood the appeal of Pearl Jam either. EV's vocal style is just so affected (the Nickelback comparison is cruel but not entirely unfair). Having said that, what I heard of EV's soundtrack work for Into the Wild was relatively subdued and tastefu, as were Eddie's vocals on "I'm One" in a Who tribute of a few years ago. So, PJ = WTF? Recent Eddie = hmmm, not bad.

 

dude you seriously ramble on so about do you like Eddie or do you not like Eddie? seriously we all DON"T CARE even a little bit. when you can sing and write even CLOSE to his level, come back and maybe (and that's still doubtful) maybe we'll give you more than the 2 seconds it took to write this{#Yawn}{#Yawn}{#Yawn}


 DELTA__9__FOOLS wrote:
Ick, one of the founders of the butt rock that continues to plague the airwaves to this day. This get's a two.
 
I have to say I've never understood the appeal of Pearl Jam either. EV's vocal style is just so affected (the Nickelback comparison is cruel but not entirely unfair). Having said that, what I heard of EV's soundtrack work for Into the Wild was relatively subdued and tastefu, as were Eddie's vocals on "I'm One" in a Who tribute of a few years ago. So, PJ = WTF? Recent Eddie = hmmm, not bad.

 grace6697 wrote:
best band ever?
 

While I think they are awesome, I wouldn't say Pearl Jam is the best band ever. The competition for that is just too stiff (Beatles and Zeppelin (in no particular order) would be my top two bands of all time). As best US band ever, there's a lot of tough competition, also (Doors, Aerosmith, Allmans, etc., though not all of these would be on my list).

I'll just say that they rock, they're one of the best bands of the 90's, and leave it at that.

This album and Ten are the only two PJ albums I really like. Plus it's very grungy=awesome!
this was like my life theme song during the teenage years. I WORSHIPPED eddie. Even made a doll of him.
DELTA__9__FOOLS wrote:
Ick, one of the founders of the butt rock that continues to plague the airwaves to this day. This get's a two.

Butt rock? 

Isn't this song about child sexual abuse?
God this song brings me back.  Me and my best friend used to sing this together when we rode around town Friday nights after school.  {#High-five}
 DELTA__9__FOOLS wrote:
Ick, one of the founders of the butt rock that continues to plague the airwaves to this day. This get's a two.

 

I guess you had to be there kiddo.     Kids these days.......{#Stupid}
DeemerDave wrote:
This band is so close to greatness but somehow misses the mark. The hypocracy of Vedder on stage beating on President Busch in effigy to protest war troubles me about these guys and their blind minions.
There is a beer in the White House?  That would explain a lot...

Never thought this tune was one of their better efforts (so I give it a 6), but there is no ignoring the band's talent.  Stage antics are just that...I suppose you're still fuming over Sinead O'Connor's Saturday Night "surprise" too.  Expecting artists to keep their personal feelings hidden would pretty much destroy all art.

Ick, one of the founders of the butt rock that continues to plague the airwaves to this day. This get's a two.

 lemmoth wrote:


I'll take your points seriously when you learn how to spell Bush and hypocrisy - which are listed with each other in the latest published thesoaurus.


 
I'll take you seriously when you learn to spell THESAURUS correctly.  {#Doh}


Delboy77 wrote:
a very organic type sequence here... 7:54 am - Pearl Jam - Daughter 7:50 am - Cake - You Turn the Screws 7:48 am - J.J. Cale - Cajun Moon 7:43 am - Van Morrison - Moondance 7:39 am - Miles Davis - It Ain't Necessarily So great work bill
and again...10 months later!
DeemerDave wrote:
This band is so close to greatness but somehow misses the mark. The hypocracy of Vedder on stage beating on President Busch in effigy to protest war troubles me about these guys and their blind minions.
I'll take your points seriously when you learn how to spell Bush and hypocrisy - which are listed with each other in the latest published thesoaurus.
milchschnitte wrote:
song is good, but what dows the cover mean. is this a typical grunge-rocker from the 90's?
It's a a sheep.
song is good, but what dows the cover mean. is this a typical grunge-rocker from the 90's?
Love this song. Great memories of the early 90s when rock was still important in the mainstream.
orpheus wrote:
so lemmee make sure i get this straight (acc. to you of course), those against Dubya and this war are "blind minions"? You SERIOUSLY gotta be kidding (esp. in 2008)!
they had one good album and a couple of good songs afterward, and that's it. And I dont believe it has anything to do with GW Bush or any kind of politics.
DeemerDave wrote:
This band is so close to greatness but somehow misses the mark. The hypocracy of Vedder on stage beating on President Busch in effigy to protest war troubles me about these guys and their blind minions.
so lemmee make sure i get this straight (acc. to you of course), those against Dubya and this war are "blind minions"? You SERIOUSLY gotta be kidding (esp. in 2008)!
grace6697 wrote:
best band ever?
Great yes. Best ever? Nope.
Bocephus wrote:
I think I've heard one decent PJ song ever. Can't get past Vedder's yowling. Yuck.
He sounds much better now IMHO--his voice has matured well. Still a killer song though...
This band is so close to greatness but somehow misses the mark. The hypocracy of Vedder on stage beating on President Busch in effigy to protest war troubles me about these guys and their blind minions.
I think I've heard one decent PJ song ever. Can't get past Vedder's yowling. Yuck.
There's a gut-bustingly hilarious Vegas-style lounge lizard cover of this out there somewhere.
grace6697 wrote:
best band ever?
sure, if we pretend that the Beatles, Stones, Who, Zep, Radiohead et.al. don't exist!
Baby_M wrote:
Ooooookaaaay, Eddie, I won't call you "daughter." (I'm sorry, but the line "don't call me daughter" sung in Eddie Vetter's rough masculine voice just hits me in a funny way.)
Yeah, me too. What is the intention behind that do ya think? Did his dad chide him for having long hair?
More_Cowbell wrote:
Are they the Led Zep of today? Are they that good?
led zep stole most of their first album from other albums so i don't hold them to be IT. as good as another GREAT band in their day? sure. easily.
Ooooookaaaay, Eddie, I won't call you "daughter." (I'm sorry, but the line "don't call me daughter" sung in Eddie Vetter's rough masculine voice just hits me in a funny way.)
grace6697 wrote:
best band ever?
Are they the Led Zep of today? Are they that good?
best band ever?
andersonbd1 wrote:
I watched a Pearl Jam performance on MTV of VH1 or something and a member of the audience asked something like "You take a pretty hard stance politically. What do you think of your fans who may not agree with you?" Eddie's response, "F**CK 'EM" So from then on I have not listened to Pearl Jam and completely despise them.
You are full of it.
exact same thing a month later to the day Delboy77 wrote:
a very organic type sequence here... 7:54 am - Pearl Jam - Daughter 7:50 am - Cake - You Turn the Screws 7:48 am - J.J. Cale - Cajun Moon 7:43 am - Van Morrison - Moondance 7:39 am - Miles Davis - It Ain't Necessarily So great work bill
andersonbd1 wrote:
I watched a Pearl Jam performance on MTV of VH1 or something and a member of the audience asked something like "You take a pretty hard stance politically. What do you think of your fans who may not agree with you?" Eddie's response, "F**CK 'EM" So from then on I have not listened to Pearl Jam and completely despise them.
that's funny. I remember a VH1 special back in 5/06 where a fan who was in attendance at the filmed show in New York had sent up a written message saying the same. In response, after pausing for a moment and looking into the stands to identify the audience member, Eddie replied, (and if they ever repeat the special you can verify this), "I would hope people would just do their own research and verify the facts (paraphrasing) and find out what's really going on currently in this country (politically and otherwise) and then come to their own educated conclusions." (again paraphrasing, but you get the gist of it). And he said this in a very calm, reasonable and non-inflammatory way. Might I ask what telecast you are referring to or did you make it up to begin with?
I watched a Pearl Jam performance on MTV of VH1 or something and a member of the audience asked something like "You take a pretty hard stance politically. What do you think of your fans who may not agree with you?" Eddie's response, "F**CK 'EM" So from then on I have not listened to Pearl Jam and completely despise them.
youngj wrote:
Eddie Vedder, Scott Weiland = Cleveland bound Hootie, Creed = karaoke night
Very funny, and very true.
geez that's a lousy album cover
a very organic type sequence here... 7:54 am - Pearl Jam - Daughter 7:50 am - Cake - You Turn the Screws 7:48 am - J.J. Cale - Cajun Moon 7:43 am - Van Morrison - Moondance 7:39 am - Miles Davis - It Ain't Necessarily So great work bill
leathepea wrote:
Nice fade Bill, I love the way the guitar flows together from Cake to Pearl Jam.
Agreed -- very nice transition with the percussion too.
princeofpeoria wrote:
apparently pearl jam never made it up to canada ... what an idiot!
Apparently sarcasm never made it to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
I was living in Seattle when Mookie Blaylock (soon to become PJ) was birthed from the tragedy of Mother Love Bone. It was a sad time for music but we were given Pearl Jam and Temple of the Dog. At least some good came of the senseless loss of Andrew Wood.
Vedder = the 90's rock voice All others = wish they were Vedder rocco1207 wrote:
Vedder, Hootie, singer from Stone Temple Pilots, singer from Creed = the 90's rock voice
rocco1207 wrote:
Vedder, Hootie, singer from Stone Temple Pilots, singer from Creed = the 90's rock voice
Eddie Vedder, Scott Weiland = Cleveland bound Hootie, Creed = karaoke night
Vedder, Hootie, singer from Stone Temple Pilots, singer from Creed = the 90's rock voice
I hear this and am instantly transported to high school parties in someone's backyard drinking warm rum & coke and trying pot for the first time. Ah, memories. :p
Daughter! Daughter! Daughter!
Nice fade Bill, I love the way the guitar flows together from Cake to Pearl Jam.
I didn't like this song when it came out. it's really grown on me.
mrrmt wrote:
I thought this song was about incest from the point of a young girl.
Vedder said it's about a learning-disabled girl who suffers abuse from her mother and/or parents because of their impatience over and lack of understanding about her condition. The physical abuse is implied by the use of the word "violins" - which is of course a homophone for "violence." When the shades go down the POV switches from the observer who sees the scene from the kitchen window to that of the girl inside her own home/mind. About what goes on behind closed doors that can be so different than what we see from the outside, etc. It's supposed to be semi-autobiographical, because as a boy learning-disabled Vedder experienced a similar situation with his own stepfather.
Geecheeboy wrote:
Always loved this song. It's funnier, though if you sing "Don't call me doggie."
"Don't call me Dorris!"