WASHINGTON – After testing positive for , an irate U.S. President  called Russian President  on Friday morning to tell him that the Russian-made  he was given was “complete junk.”

“Vlad, Vlad, listen. You know how much I respect you,” a coughing, feverish Trump told Putin through a backchannel to the Kremlin. “But this spoogenik thing you sent… it did nothing. Nothing.”

A dose of Sputnik V, the vaccine recently developed in Russia during a fast-tracked process many scientists fear bypassed rigorous medical review, was sent to Trump last month as part of the special rations given to every Russian agent.

Despite injecting himself with the vaccine, Trump tested positive for the coronavirus yesterday and has since developed symptoms, which sparked a barrage of angry tweets from the president.