Radio Paradise Comments
- GeneP59 - Jun 24, 2022 - 6:36pm
Things You Thought Today
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Name My Band
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RightWingNutZ
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Bug Reports & Feature Requests
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Vinyl Only Spin List
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Supreme Court Rulings
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Germany
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Today in History
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Wordle - daily game
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Counting with Pictures
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What is the meaning of this?
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 24, 2022 - 12:22pm
Stuff you bought today.
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 24, 2022 - 10:25am
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •
- black321 - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:53am
Country Up The Bumpkin
- oldviolin - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:42am
Memorials - Remembering Our Loved Ones
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Trump
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Ukraine
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Russia
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Tech & Science
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Cryptic Posts - Leave Them Guessing
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Upcoming concerts or shows you can't wait to see
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Hockey + Fantasy Hockey
- miamizsun - Jun 23, 2022 - 1:18pm
Mixtape Culture Club
- miamizsun - Jun 23, 2022 - 12:51pm
YouTube: Music-Videos
- black321 - Jun 23, 2022 - 12:21pm
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously
- R_P - Jun 23, 2022 - 12:15pm
Outstanding Covers
- Steely_D - Jun 23, 2022 - 8:24am
How's the weather?
- Antigone - Jun 23, 2022 - 8:00am
Summer vacation plans?
- Skydog - Jun 23, 2022 - 5:46am
Baseball, anyone?
- Skydog - Jun 23, 2022 - 5:25am
how do you feel right now?
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 22, 2022 - 9:51pm
TV shows you watch
- Steely_D - Jun 22, 2022 - 5:54pm
Crazy conspiracy theories
- Steely_D - Jun 22, 2022 - 2:06pm
Talk Behind Their Backs Forum
- VV - Jun 22, 2022 - 2:05pm
Mars Exploration Rover Mission Status
- miamizsun - Jun 22, 2022 - 10:14am
Things I Read Today
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 22, 2022 - 9:22am
2016 Elections
- Skydog - Jun 22, 2022 - 8:28am
Sublime Soundtracks
- Skydog - Jun 22, 2022 - 5:12am
SECESSION: The Republic of Texas?
- sunybuny - Jun 22, 2022 - 4:56am
• • • What's For Dinner ? • • •
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 21, 2022 - 8:14pm
Poetry Forum
- miamizsun - Jun 21, 2022 - 6:43pm
Nuclear power - saviour or scourge?
- miamizsun - Jun 21, 2022 - 6:34pm
What the world needs now is ....
- Skydog - Jun 21, 2022 - 5:27pm
World & Eclectic Mix
- GetBakedTonight - Jun 21, 2022 - 1:22am
Photography Forum - Your Own Photos
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 20, 2022 - 9:01pm
Happy Father's Day
- Bill_J - Jun 20, 2022 - 8:23pm
Animal Resistance
- Red_Dragon - Jun 20, 2022 - 3:58pm
Movie Recommendation
- Manbird - Jun 20, 2022 - 2:46pm
Positive Thoughts and Prayer Requests
- GeneP59 - Jun 20, 2022 - 12:49pm
Greetings from New York!
- kcar - Jun 20, 2022 - 11:01am
Lyrics that strike a chord today...
- oldviolin - Jun 20, 2022 - 9:48am
songs that ROCK!
- oldviolin - Jun 20, 2022 - 9:43am
Fiverr Anyone?
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 20, 2022 - 8:21am
Art Show
- Proclivities - Jun 20, 2022 - 7:39am
BillyGee's Greatest Segues
- Skydog - Jun 20, 2022 - 4:05am
Climate Change
- R_P - Jun 19, 2022 - 11:45am
New Recruit
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:37pm
What makes you smile?
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:21pm
Paul McCartney
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:19pm
Aliens: The Answer To Everything!
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:14pm
Yellowstone is in Wyoming Meetup • Aug. 11 2007 • YEA...
- Steely_D - Jun 18, 2022 - 1:02pm
Last gas price paid?
- PFM - Jun 18, 2022 - 8:19am
Gotta Get Your Drink On
- Antigone - Jun 17, 2022 - 4:10pm
What Did You See Today?
- Antigone - Jun 17, 2022 - 3:54pm
Coffee
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 17, 2022 - 3:42pm
Is there any DOG news out there?
- black321 - Jun 17, 2022 - 1:07pm
Things that make you happy
- Steely_D - Jun 17, 2022 - 11:58am
Bad Poetry
- oldviolin - Jun 17, 2022 - 10:34am
When Democracy Failed
- Skydog - Jun 17, 2022 - 7:18am
What Makes You Sad?
- Steely_D - Jun 16, 2022 - 9:06pm
Guns
- Red_Dragon - Jun 16, 2022 - 7:07pm
Today, I learned...
- Manbird - Jun 16, 2022 - 7:04pm
Favorite Quotes
- oldviolin - Jun 16, 2022 - 11:46am
Cybersecurity
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 15, 2022 - 10:53am
OUR CATS!!
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 14, 2022 - 4:55pm
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Index »
Radio Paradise/General »
General Discussion »
~ Have a good joke you can post? ~
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Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 309, 310, 311 Next |
Bill_J


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Posted:
May 3, 2022 - 6:58pm |
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black321 wrote:
Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros.
You had me at "Putin dies and goes to hell"
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black321

Location: An earth without maps Gender:  
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Posted:
May 3, 2022 - 6:07pm |
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Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros.
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whatshisname

Location: West OZ Gender:  
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Posted:
Aug 2, 2021 - 11:12pm |
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I was visiting the local library and asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
She leaned right over towards me and whispered that they were right behind me.
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Steely_D

Location: Biscayne Bay Gender:  
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Posted:
Aug 2, 2021 - 8:13pm |
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How do you tell the extrovert neurologist?
He stares at your shoes.
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haresfur

Location: The Golden Triangle Gender:  
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Posted:
Aug 2, 2021 - 4:11pm |
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My urologist said it isn't unusual for someone to get a spontaneous erection and ejaculate during a prostate exam. ... but I wish he wouldn't
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rhahl


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Posted:
Aug 1, 2021 - 5:48am |
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On "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" the sign-off question was: Now that the "Indians" have changed their name to the "Guardians," which sports team will change their name next and to what? Maeve Higgins said it will be the Yankees, which will stay the Yankees, but with a J.
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oldviolin

Location: esse quam videri Gender:  
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Posted:
Jul 28, 2021 - 8:27am |
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objective media.
wait for it...
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whatshisname

Location: West OZ Gender:  
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Posted:
Apr 12, 2020 - 3:42am |
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Anyone else noticed many bookshops are giving away 2020 diaries for free ?
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black321

Location: An earth without maps Gender:  
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Posted:
Apr 10, 2020 - 4:47pm |
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An old engineerâs time is up and he duly reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his file and says, "Ah, you're an engineer - you're in the wrong place." So the engineer heads back down, checks in at the gates of hell and is let right in. Pretty soon, he gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. Despite the large number of program managers, purchasing agents and financial controllers there - where else can they go? - everything goes smoothly. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flushing toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a popular man. He settles comfortably back into his old profession - hardly anything has changed from back on earth, except the boss appreciates him now, and the working conditions are better.
One day God calls Satan on the telephone and asks, a little smugly, it must be said, "How are things down there in hell?" Satan replies, "It's going pretty well. We have air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No chance! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs his head off and answers, "Aye, right - and just where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
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Steely_D

Location: Biscayne Bay Gender:  
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Posted:
Feb 10, 2020 - 10:40pm |
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I was just at a restaurant the other night. Paid $20K for a tasting menu, and for dessert they had a trained peacock regurgitate directly into my mouth.
It was okay, but frankly I've had $10K meals that tasted just as good.
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SeriousLee

Location: Dans l'milieu d'deux milles livres 
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Posted:
Apr 5, 2019 - 1:10pm |
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A man gets on the train. He goes to the train conductor and says, "I need to get off in Philadelphia. I am so tired I just know I will fall asleep. Could you please make sure I get off in Philadelphia? Will you wake me up? I haven't slept in 2 days, so I may wake up cranky and give you a hard time, but please PLEASE make sure I get off in Philadelphia. Even if you have to throw me out. Will you do that, please? " The conductor says, "No problem, sir. I'll make sure you get off in Philadelphia."
So the guy wakes up. The train is stopped. He is in New York. He is livid! Furious, he goes after the conductor. It took three guys to hold him off and throw him out the train. A lady who watched the whole thing, turned to the conductor and said, "Boy was that man ever angry". The conductor said, "Ya...well, you should have seen the man we threw off the train in Philadelphia"
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SeriousLee

Location: Dans l'milieu d'deux milles livres 
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Posted:
Mar 1, 2019 - 12:39pm |
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A Newfie won a fishing boat in a raffle and tows it home. His wife looks at him and says, "What in the name o' Lard Jasus are you gonna do with dat, bye? We lives on a farm. There's nary a bit o' water within 75 miles o' 'ere."
He says, "Don't care. I won 'er and I'm gonna keep 'er."
Several days later the Newfie's brother comes over to visit. He looks out in the field behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a fishing boat in the middle of the field with a fishing rod in his hand.He stands at the edge of the field and yells out to him, "What the frig are you doin'?"
His brother calls back, "I'm fishin'. What the frig does it look like I'ma doin'?"
His brother yells back, "Lard tunderin' my son, it's people like yout hat gives Newfies a bad name, making everyone think we're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick you in the friggin arse."
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pigtail

Location: Southern California Gender:  
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Posted:
Jan 7, 2019 - 9:45am |
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KurtfromLaQuinta wrote:Three women all die in a car crash and go to Heaven on the same day. They are waiting at the pearly gates when St. Peter arrives and greets them.
âWelcome to Heaven, ladies. There is only one rule here in Heaven: donât step on the ducks.â
The women each look at each other with confusion. St. Peter opens the gate and sure enough, there are thousands of tiny ducks covering the ground.
The first woman goes in and lasts a week before stepping on a duck. St. Peter appears out of nowhere with the ugliest man she has ever seen and handcuffs them together.
He says, âThis is your punishment for stepping on a duck. You are now stuck with this man for all eternity,â and disappears.
The second woman lasts for a month before finally stepping on a duck. The same thing happens again. St. Peter arrives with the ugliest man she has ever seen, handcuffs them together, explains what has happened and leaves.
The third woman continues to enjoy Heaven for years and years, never stepping on a duck. Suddenly, St. Peter pops up out of nowhere with the most gorgeous man she has ever seen. He handcuffs them together, and without saying a word, leaves.
The woman looks up at the man, bats her eyelashes and says, âGee, I wonder what I did to deserve you.â
He slowly looks down at her and says, âI donât know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.â
Funny......LOL
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pigtail

Location: Southern California Gender:  
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Posted:
Jan 7, 2019 - 9:43am |
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Proclivities wrote:A friend of mine told me that she had uttered a Freudian slip while having breakfast with her husband one morning. She meant to say "Pass the salt", but accidentally said "You've ruined my life you f***ing, a$$hole!"
LOL
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oldviolin

Location: esse quam videri Gender:  
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Posted:
Jan 7, 2019 - 8:08am |
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westslope wrote:There are two kinds of men in this world. Those that are pussy-whipped and those that wish they were pussy-whipped.
Ugh. It's complicated...
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Proclivities

Location: Paris of the Piedmont Gender:  
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Posted:
Jan 7, 2019 - 8:05am |
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A friend of mine told me that she had uttered a Freudian slip while having breakfast with her husband one morning. She meant to say "Pass the salt", but accidentally said "You've ruined my life you f***ing, a$$hole!"
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westslope

Location: BC sage brush steppe 
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Posted:
Dec 11, 2018 - 1:52pm |
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There are two kinds of men in this world. Those that are pussy-whipped and those that wish they were pussy-whipped.
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lowelltr

Location: Cardinal Nation Gender:  
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Posted:
Dec 11, 2018 - 1:46pm |
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I told my wife she arched her eyebrows too much.
She seemed surprised.
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KurtfromLaQuinta

Location: Really deep in the heart of South California Gender:  
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Posted:
Dec 10, 2018 - 1:11pm |
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Three women all die in a car crash and go to Heaven on the same day. They are waiting at the pearly gates when St. Peter arrives and greets them.
“Welcome to Heaven, ladies. There is only one rule here in Heaven: don’t step on the ducks.”
The women each look at each other with confusion. St. Peter opens the gate and sure enough, there are thousands of tiny ducks covering the ground.
The first woman goes in and lasts a week before stepping on a duck. St. Peter appears out of nowhere with the ugliest man she has ever seen and handcuffs them together.
He says, “This is your punishment for stepping on a duck. You are now stuck with this man for all eternity,” and disappears.
The second woman lasts for a month before finally stepping on a duck. The same thing happens again. St. Peter arrives with the ugliest man she has ever seen, handcuffs them together, explains what has happened and leaves.
The third woman continues to enjoy Heaven for years and years, never stepping on a duck. Suddenly, St. Peter pops up out of nowhere with the most gorgeous man she has ever seen. He handcuffs them together, and without saying a word, leaves.
The woman looks up at the man, bats her eyelashes and says, “Gee, I wonder what I did to deserve you.”
He slowly looks down at her and says, “I don’t know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.”
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SeriousLee

Location: Dans l'milieu d'deux milles livres 
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Posted:
Sep 22, 2018 - 12:39pm |
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Q: What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant? A: Is it mine?
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