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Lyle Lovett — If I Had a Boat (live)
Album: Live in Texas
Avg rating:
7.5

Your rating:
Total ratings: 1309









Released: 1999
Length: 3:14
Plays (last 30 days): 0
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

If I were roy rogers
I'd sure enough be single
I couldn't bring myself to marrying old dale
It'd just be me and trigger
We'd go riding through them movies
Then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sail

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

The mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a tonto
'cause tonto did the dirty work for free
But tonto he was smarter
And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat
I'm going out to sea

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

And if I were like lightning
I wouldn't need no sneakers
I'd come and go wherever I would please
And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree
And I'd scare 'em by the light pole
But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea

And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
Comments (228)add comment
The lyrics make perfect sense...
I thought I couldn't love this song any more than I already do, but this version is lovely. I've seen him sing it live several times and it's a transporting moment every time. 
 Sofa_King wrote:
How could Tonto buy a boat if the Mystery Man didn't pay him for the dirty work? 
 
Artistic license! He didn't get anything extra for the dirty work!
I just love LL’s tone, the whimsical words, the pace, the casual relaxed atmosphere, the carefree style and solid musicianship across the track. Thanks RP
Pretty sound! 
 dwhayslett wrote:

Where in the world do people get the idea that *they* get to decide what's appropriate for RP?

7->8 just for the lyric

"And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat "
 

It's been long in the coming 7 --> 9 for the same reason!!! Love this song!!!
How could Tonto buy a boat if the Mystery Man didn't pay him for the dirty work? 
 dwhayslett wrote:

Where in the world do people get the idea that *they* get to decide what's appropriate for RP?

7->8 just for the lyric

"And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat "
 

Yaasssss!
 hschlossberg wrote:
I just had to downgrade my previous score of 3 down to 2.  Personally, I'd be happy if I never had to hear it again.  But it gets a 2-3 based on its appropriateness for this station.  Still, what a stupid song.
 
Does FOX have a radio station .... off you go
Thank you for playing this song today at this moment.  Perfect glimpse of a summer past, at a concert, in a field, under the stars, enjoying a live performance of Lyle Lovett and his big band.  
i have been in and out of country music all my life
from Hank to Willie and a lot in between
when i heard there was this new country guy coming up i was interested
until i heard some Lyle Lovett music 
he was a 1980's hipster's idea of what country is
 
 hschlossberg wrote:
I just had to downgrade my previous score of 3 down to 2.  Personally, I'd be happy if I never had to hear it again.  But it gets a 2-3 based on its appropriateness for this station.  Still, what a stupid song.

 
Where in the world do people get the idea that *they* get to decide what's appropriate for RP?

7->8 just for the lyric

"And one day said kemo sabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat "
Stopped dead in tracks.  Volume up.  Feet on desk.  {#Meditate}
Lyle is an amazing singer songwriter! 9 plus! {#Bounce}
Songs are like poetry folks, not all the words have to make sense to everyone.  They make sense to me and it is one fine song.  I fell in love with it when it was background music as people filed into the hall while I was waiting for an Alison Krauss concert to begin.  Great evening of music.
So many people posting that this is a stupid song, and that the lyrics don't make any sense. Well, I'm sure that they made sense to the 10-ish year old boy from the 1950s who is clearly the narrator of the song.
{#Roflol}
{#Hearteyes}
Still like this one ....
 hschlossberg wrote:
I just had to downgrade my previous score of 3 down to 2.  Personally, I'd be happy if I never had to hear it again.  But it gets a 2-3 based on its appropriateness for this station.  Still, what a stupid song.


It's good to see that you've applied what little brain power you have towards hating on this song.  Stupid is as stupid does. 
 meinthecorner wrote:
Big love indeed! A 9! He truly is a great live performer.

 
....... ditto
 brian_f wrote:

If I had a boat by Lyle Lovett is a masterpiece!  It speaks to the dichotomy of life, and the Human experience.  I can’t believe how many people don’t understand it, and I completely understand why most people don’t understand it’s meaning.  What a fragile unpredictable adventure we undertake with every step!  My understanding of the meaning of this song is absolutely correct, and possibly at the same time completely wrong.  Thank you Lyle Lovett!



 
Lyle is a genius and this lyric is perfect whimsy. 

...and a perfect whimsical look at life... if only...

 
 WayUpNorth wrote:
 michaelgmitchell wrote:
"...kiss my ass, I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea."
If only it were that simple, Lyle. If only ...
 Was just thinking the same thing this gloomy Monday morning ... 



 
HA!  I daresay it's the dream (comment) of every wage slave shackled to his/her job all across this fair planet.

If I had a boat by Lyle Lovett is a masterpiece!  It speaks to the dichotomy of life, and the Human experience.  I can’t believe how many people don’t understand it, and I completely understand why most people don’t understand it’s meaning.  What a fragile unpredictable adventure we undertake with every step!  My understanding of the meaning of this song is absolutely correct, and possibly at the same time completely wrong.  Thank you Lyle Lovett!


I just had to downgrade my previous score of 3 down to 2.  Personally, I'd be happy if I never had to hear it again.  But it gets a 2-3 based on its appropriateness for this station.  Still, what a stupid song.
The Super Bowl happening right now, I am not watching.  RP is better time spent. 
Clever tune.
If I had 3 wishes.........

"If" leaves lots to be desired, but let's dream like children once again.{#Bananajumprope} 
 MsJudi wrote:
The lyrics of this song are so ridiculous that it ruins for me an otherwise nice tune.
 
Makes sense if you imagine it from the point-of-view of a small boy. Also "If I were Roy Rogers, I'd sure enough be single, I couldn't bring myself to marry that ol' Dale...."
I am heading out on my boat ... No ocean, no pony ....but I have beer.
Great song!  He and his Large Band put on a fantastic live performance!  I saw them at the Santa Fe Opera House.

 michaelgmitchell wrote:
"...kiss my ass, I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea."
If only it were that simple, Lyle. If only ...
 Was just thinking the same thing this gloomy Monday morning ... 


...and if I had a PSD button I'd click it...
 terrapin52 wrote:
It's the dumbest song I've ever heard.
 
Let me change your mind: pick a song, any song...

Big love indeed! A 9! He truly is a great live performer.
Anybody figure out what the heck this song means yet?  No? 

OK I'll check back again in a few more years.
Lyle Lovett much better music than this song...Love the guy's music
 michaelgmitchell wrote:
"...kiss my ass, I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea."
If only it were that simple, Lyle. If only ...
 
It is.  And I'll give it a 9 if for lyrics only.

He is a treat is see in concert
First time I've heard this on RP!!!  (I think.)  An amazing album, from a guy who has a lot of gray matter under that mop of curly hair.

edit:  Thought this was the studio version, from Pontiac, released in 1987.
 WonderLizard wrote:
Nagging thought: if you put Lyle Lovett, Peter Himmelman, and Jesse Winchester behind a curtain and had them each sing, would anyone, besides themselves, be able to tell the difference?

This is what you get when I try thinking on a Sunday night...{#Propeller}
 
Not sure about Peter's and Jesse's, but I could tell Lyle's voice immediately. Couldn't tell you why, except maybe I've been listening to (and enjoying) Lyle's music for ages.

kiss my ass i bought a boat
It's the dumbest song I've ever heard.
I like how Bill played it out past the riotous applause.  So surreal ... who could love that song that much besides the groupies?  That DQ guy narrating the "not good enough" commercial makes more sense than the lyrics in this insipid song.
 wonderunit wrote:
"Me upon my pony on my boat..."  Must be code for some sex or illicit-drug-consumption act, and once again I'm out of the loop.  I didn't get "Puff the Magic Dragon" either.  Of course, I was only in the fifth grade then.  I'm in like the 23rd or 24th grade now.
 

Just an Old Spice commercial
 wonderunit wrote:
"Me upon my pony on my boat..."  Must be code for some sex or illicit-drug-consumption act, and once again I'm out of the loop.  I didn't get "Puff the Magic Dragon" either.  Of course, I was only in the fifth grade then.  I'm in like the 23rd or 24th grade now.
 
Social promotion?

I love this song.  Lyle Lovett is rather amazing. {#Notworthy}
"Me upon my pony on my boat..."  Must be code for some sex or illicit-drug-consumption act, and once again I'm out of the loop.  I didn't get "Puff the Magic Dragon" either.  Of course, I was only in the fifth grade then.  I'm in like the 23rd or 24th grade now.
 DaveInVA wrote:
GAWD I hate this song - most stupid lyrics ever...
 
{#High-five}

Love this song, so simple and escapist, it has echos of Cat Stevens for me.


"...kiss my ass, I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea."
If only it were that simple, Lyle. If only ...


Nagging thought: if you put Lyle Lovett, Peter Himmelman, and Jesse Winchester behind a curtain and had them each sing, would anyone, besides themselves, be able to tell the difference?

This is what you get when I try thinking on a Sunday night...{#Propeller}
 Marr wrote:

And yet 700 plus ratings and an average of 7.7. Somebody seems to enjoy this quite a lot despite the "most stupid lyrics ever"

 
Not to mention the fact that the 9s outweigh the 8s nearly 2-to-1.  Great song.

 DaveInVA wrote:
GAWD I hate this song - most stupid lyrics ever...
 
And yet 700 plus ratings and an average of 7.7. Somebody seems to enjoy this quite a lot despite the "most stupid lyrics ever"

GAWD I hate this song - most stupid lyrics ever...
 Imkirok wrote:
One song you don't like and you go away?  Don't the the bittorrent hit you on the way out.
 
oh don't be a grouch. you missed the point.

one song that i keep hearing here, every time i don't want to hear it.

i am a huge fan of radio paradise. 
A pony on a boat - a ludicrous proposition, and yet he makes it sound plausible....the mark of a true artist.
I met Lyle on a plane ride from LA to Dallas years back. He sat across from me if first class of course. He was a really nice guy. Long live Lyle Lovett..( =
Lyle Lovett has the most amazing speaking voice.
One song you don't like and you go away?  Don't the the bittorrent hit you on the way out.

friend: Jim, why are you crying?
me: I just turned on Radio Paradise for the first time in like two months, i was so looking forward to it.
friend: and you're crying from happiness?
me: < wailing >
friend: what?
me: Bill's playing that #$()Q($Q Pony Boat Song. First thing i heard. Now i gotta go away again.
friend: < shrug > Bittorrent?
 
nothing but big love for this one 
I feel like these last two songs were played just for me. This is my all-time favorite Lyle song, and Annie Lennox's Waiting in Vain is a 10 in my book. What a nice little two-fer.
 Shimmer wrote:
These lyrics work much better if you imagine them sung by They Might Be Giants.
 

Knowing Lovett's body of work I think this is perfectly in character for him. Lots of his songs have an element of the silly in them. That said I do like the idea of TMBG singing a cover of this.
 jktravl wrote:
One of my favorite Lyle Lovett songs of all times. Thanks Bill for an excellent choice
 
ditto!  {#High-five}

"If I were Roy Rogers, I'd sure enough be single, I couldn't bring myself to marry that ol' Dale...."

LOVE that line.
One of my favorite Lyle Lovett songs of all times. Thanks Bill for an excellent choice
These lyrics work much better if you imagine them sung by They Might Be Giants.
{#Clap} Love this guy! Only thing he ever did wrong was that "Roberts" woman thing.
 natalita wrote:

no... they are just lame. its not that complex. come on now.

 
Perhaps you should look at a lot of the lyrics for the songs played here.  Music is supposed to get an emotional reaction.  If you want great writing, then read a book.    I bet if we looked up the lyrics for songs that you gave a 8, 9 and 10 rating to, we would find some of those lyrics would be just as 'lame' as the words to this song.  But I love the emotional pull of this song.  Great song to relax to.


Lyle Lovett should be in the Stuff White People Like list, so they can say they like some country music.
 copymonkey wrote:
 

It's sung in character—that of a young boy I would assume. Apparently that one got past you. 
 
no... they are just lame. its not that complex. come on now.

 p2h2d2 wrote:
Saw this tour, consumate performer....Even if you're not from Texas, Texas loves you anyway!
 
I agree, I saw him this past summer and it was great, makes me want to visit Texas again.
Saw this tour, consumate performer....Even if you're not from Texas, Texas loves you anyway!

Always makes me think of the Jimmy Buffet books. Ah to be Tully Mars.
Love Lyle. I wish we would hear more of him on RP.


 toterola wrote : "God love Lyle Lovett!"   
Whoa !!! god love Lyle Lovett's ex-wife!!!  
Now that works !
 rvontha wrote:
A friend of mine used to cover this in her local coffee-shop shows that I loved going to. So I must admit that my rating may have less to do with Mr. Lovett (although I love his music) and more to do with fond memories!
 
My favorite was when she played "Smelly Cat".  Fond memories indeed!

 KermitDfrog wrote:
One needs to have a little whimsy now and then.
 
That is an excellent sentiment!

This song never fails to make me feel better. God love Lyle Lovett!
 itaytay wrote:
Lyrics are so stupid and lame...
  

It's sung in character—that of a young boy I would assume. Apparently that one got past you. 

I would go anywhere and do anything Lyle asked me...  swoon!


I love this whole CD, it's terrific.
jyoull wrote:
If i had a million dollars
(If i had a million dollars)
I'd buy Lyle Lovett a boat
(a boat with a pony) If I had a million dollars
(if i had a million dollars)
I'd put him on that boat
I'd put him on that po o o o o oooony
...
boat


{#Clap}{#Roflol}{#Lol}
If i had a million dollars (If i had a million dollars) I'd buy Lyle Lovett a boat (a boat with a pony) If I had a million dollars (if i had a million dollars) I'd put him on that boat I'd put him on that po o o o o oooony ... boat
blacklite wrote:
The way he pronounces boat is so funny. He never, ever, once follows through with the t. It makes him sound german.
Or like Mick Jagger? (who never finished a syllable in his life). Actually, a vocal coach I had once explained how you can sometimes downplay 'p's and 't's at the end of words (replacing them with 'b's and 'd's, or just breathing them instead) in some softer songs. Harder consonants can produce a rhythm of their own that you may not want.
This gives new meaning to poop deck.
"Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony??"
-Jerry Seinfeld

Lyrics are so stupid and lame...
A friend of mine used to cover this in her local coffee-shop shows that I loved going to. So I must admit that my rating may have less to do with Mr. Lovett (although I love his music) and more to do with fond memories!
Ya gotta Lovett! I prefer the studio version of this, personally, but to experience this song live is wonderful nonetheless. I rate an 8 for the live version, a 10 for the studio version.
This song is awesome, as is the entire CD...Lyle is a very talented artist!
Flashdog wrote:
You can kiss my a... I bought a boat, I'm goiing off to sea
Honestly, "Flashdog", I was JUST about to write the SAME line! How amazing this world is . . . like minds from who-knows-where. Love Lyle. Anything Lyle. First time hearing him on RP. Thanks, Bill.
radioparadisehead wrote:
Yoda?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
...and if I could draw I would draw my pony on my boat.
MsJudi wrote:
The lyrics of this song are so ridiculous that it ruins for me an otherwise nice tune.
You can kiss my a... I bought a boat, I'm goiing off to sea
Surely purchasing a boat is more than a pipe dream for multi million earning Lyle?
Great to hear Lyle here. Never heard him on RP before.
...if i had a donkey, i'd dress him like a monkey, and if i had a monkey, i'd dress her like a goat...
And if I had number I'd give you an 8. Done!
The way he pronounces boat is so funny. He never, ever, once follows through with the t. It makes him sound german. Böt Böt Böt
An eight on it's own, but Lyle gets an extra point for being a serious motorcyclist.
MsJudi wrote:
The lyrics of this song are so ridiculous that it ruins for me an otherwise nice tune.
Yoda?
go_ski_mully wrote:
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band Live ...a perfect 10! every time! ...seeing these BRILLIANT muscians perform together will blow you away!
Agree completely. I've seen them twice; they are absolutely flawless and sound terrific. This is one great live album as well - I've played it near to death. Still love it!
anduinrosebud wrote:
Apparently, the inspiration for this song is when Lyle Lovett asked a young relative of his what he'd want if he could have anything. The kid answered: "A pony...No, no, a boat." I love it.
Nice insight! That little tidbit gave me a renewed appreciation for the song.
One needs to have a little whimsy now and then. MsJudi wrote:
The lyrics of this song are so ridiculous that it ruins for me an otherwise nice tune.
Apparently, the inspiration for this song is when Lyle Lovett asked a young relative of his what he'd want if he could have anything. The kid answered: "A pony...No, no, a boat." I love it.
Smoove_D wrote:
I thought it was The Gambler too.
The Gambler is all I can hear when this song playing.
The lyrics of this song are so ridiculous that it ruins for me an otherwise nice tune.
go_ski_mully wrote:
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band Live ...a perfect 10! every time! ...seeing these BRILLIANT muscians perform together will blow you away!
Seen him several times. Last time was this New Year's Eve at the Walt Disney symphony hall in Los Angeles. A great show (albeit a bit short) ... and I was with me girl!
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band Live ...a perfect 10! every time! ...seeing these BRILLIANT muscians perform together will blow you away!
RobK wrote:
...great things comes to you from sunny California.
Sorry, I let SickDaddy get me stirred up. Apologies to all but...
canadianbug wrote:
oh wow. i've only ever heard this once before, in its original form. i LOVE dave matthews' version. this is great!! thanks!!
This is the "original form."
Country music can be so dopey. This makes us wince.
Going to see Lyle and the Large Band with K.D. Lang next Sunday 6/17 in Charlottesville, VA. So excited :)
SmackDaddy wrote:
Apparently the Dixie Chicks have more balls than you.
Or he has more brains and common sense enough to not want to sound like those bimbos.
oh wow. i've only ever heard this once before, in its original form. i LOVE dave matthews' version. this is great!! thanks!!
redtex wrote:
But in your typically narrow minded, selfish, Californian (is that redundant?), antagonistic way you missed it and chose to throw insults instead.
Careful there tex, Radio Paradise (among other great things) comes to you from sunny California.
SmackDaddy wrote:
Apparently the Dixie Chicks have more balls than you.
No...I was trying a bit of humor as well as choosing to discuss music and not politics. But in your typical narrow minded, selfish, Californian (is that redundant?, antagonistic way you missed it and chose to throw insults instead. But I won't do that.
I was going to come to Lyle's defense but then I scrolled down to see that I already did about 6 months ago...oops.